Posted by: breathliftlive | 09/02/2011

Turning a negative into a positive

I thought I’d share that I’ve made the decision to really turn all the years of negativity into a positive. I’ve decided to return to studying and next week will start a Diploma of Counselling!

There are a few key aspects that helped me make this decision. I’ve always been interested in helping others, mainly children, but for various reasons I never really thought it was a career path I could follow. I witnessed, like everyone else, the trauma and tragedy of the QLD floods and knew of friends and family affected by extreme loss. Then there was Cyclone Yasi and now the WA bushfires. I sat back and watched these events unfold and felt completely helpless. I signed up to be a volunteer but that didn’t feel like enough. Then with my blog, with the aim of trying to help others in the same situation, I realised that trying to help others cope with whatever issues and tragedies they face is something I need to do.

Once I had the idea in my mind, I kept it to myself until I had it right in my head. I needed to be sure this was something I truly wanted to do and could do before I shared it with others (even my husband). This was a totally new path for me, totally outside my comfort zone. A trusted friend said to me “you have to step outside your comfort zone to really live”…. so true. I then investigated courses, found the course I wanted to do and asked for more information. When they told me the cost I nearly died and almost knocked it back but then they told me of the Fee-Help which basically means the Government pay for my course and when I start making a certain amount each year only then do I start repaying the debt.  I now had no excuses left…. I had to do this.

So I start next week. I am so excited to finally have an idea on what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I had a fantastic job for 10 years and I adore being a mother to my beautiful son, but years of looking after someone else and dealing with his issues, I needed to do something for me.

I sat down the other day after I handed in my application – slightly panicking and still wondering if I really had done the right thing. Part of the application process was to write 150-200 words on why I wanted to do this course. I knew in my mind why but trying to put it on paper for others to read was a different story.

It may sound odd or weird or stupid to some but I can now reflect on the past few years and feel that despite all the drama and heartbreak of dealing with Tim’s addiction, I feel I went through it all to come out the other side and do something positive with the lessons, good and bad, that I have learned.  I want my son to understand that when life opens up its bag of crap and throws everything it’s got at you, you have every right to be mad and hurt but you have to keep going. You need to take the experience and instead of dwelling on it, figure out what lessons can be learned. I want him to be proud of me, to see I could keep going even when I could have very easily fallen in a heap. I want to show him I don’t want to be a victim of this situation anymore. I don’t want to spend the next however many years reflecting on the negativity of the past years.  It’s time to move forward. It’s time to let go. It’s time for me to turn a negative into a positive.

Wish me luck x

I’d love to hear from you so send me an email – breathliftlive@hotmail.com

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